Healthcare - Do the Wackos have an HMO?

These people protesting at the town hall meetings, what should we call them? How about, oh, I don't know, OLD WHITE PEOPLE. And I don't mean to include all white people in this, nor is my intention to disparage those of us who have survived a certain number of years, either.

DO I need to explain? Well, if you already get it, g'ahead and skip down: you're hip enough to know "WHITE" don't mean Caucasian. You can be 24 and black, and be considered OLD WHITE PEOPLE to me. Shit, I'm white. I'm glad I am all things being said. Refer to the brilliant Louis C. K. for a more thorough explanation...


Anyhoo, I'm talking about lameness, fear, and protected ignorance. WHITE PEOPLE as a group are empty vessels of banality. WHITE PEOPLE are the reason "Transformers 2" is a box office smash. And why FOX News exists. This particular group is scared of EVERYTHING. And this healthcare deal is just the latest excuse, and admittedly, the best so far, for the right wing assholes to stir their crazies up into a frenzy.

Does it really have much to do with actual healthcare in this country? A little, but not really. If you told people the truth, that with a truly universal health care policy, everyone would be covered, and guess what? It's not that much money! We could pay for this thing completely, and cover every single man, woman, child, and Sean Hannity in America by simply getting the fuck out of Iraq!

Where?

IRAQ! 'Member that place? Seems like we sort of forgot about that whole thing over there, huh? And for the record, fuck Afghanistan, too. Leave these people to themselves. Let's hunt down Osama bin Laden and his merry men one by one. Let's take those fuckers out the same way we did those pirates a few months ago: BANG, BANG, BANG. Dead. All of 'em.

There's no need to bring them back alive. What are we going to do, give them reality TV shows? Life with bin Laden? The Real Housewives of Tikrit?

Enough already. Find them. Kill them. And be sure to videotape it from every angle, find the bodies, videotape them, and then burn them. And BBQ some ribs and hotlinks over the fire, just to rub their pork-hating noses in it.

Of course, I opt for vitriol and vigor for comedic effect. I don't really want to burn terrorists, I just want some BBQ!
What's scary is the level of hatred in the WHITE PEOPLE these days. Good lord, they are wiggin' out! This is unprecedented! When has the conservative Right acted out like this before?

Turns out, all the fucking time.

Check out a recent story by Rick Perlstein of the Washington Post. He puts this latest batch of fruitcakes in the proper historical context. In America, Crazy is a Preexisting Condition: Birthers, Town Hall Hecklers and the Return of the Right is about the best explanation of what's going on these days. These wackjobs have been around forever and they're not going to leave, no matter how cool the President is. We could have President Mos Def, and these people would be out there, marching for their madness, protesting progress, and defying diversity (acheiving alliteration?). They are intolerant basterds. As long as they ain't scalping liberals, we should let 'em holler fer a bit. They tend to wear themsleves out after a spell, anyhow.

Actually, the most concise rendering of the healthcare protests was poetically put by comedian Patton Oswalt on his Facebook page.

It's not that I'm against health care reform. I just think that... my country...death panels...freedom...THERE'S A BLACK MAN IN THE WHITE HOUSE!

WHITE PEOPLE, isn't this really what all this fuss is about? You're still scared of him? Really?

OK everyone, go through all the people in your mind who are against health care reform. Conservative, right? White? Wait, WHITE? Check. Now honestly, little bit racist? A little prejudiced? Even just a tad? Maybe more? Uh-huh. Sadly, it's still racism driving these stupid people. Do these people seriously think old man McCain and Dipsy Von Idiotshitz Palin would be doing a better job? Because they are white? If they do, then they are just not allowed to be taken seriously ever again. End of story. I group those people in with the Creationists. If you believe in Adam & Eve literally, you stupid. Real dumb. Just because John McCain knew Adam deosn't mean anything. Health Care Reform in this country has been squashed again by assholes. If you're one of 'em, I hope you catch a cold, fucker.

T-to-the-B