HISTORY TONIGHT!

How long can we, who voted for President-Elect Obama (doesn;t that sound AWESOME?) gloat to neocons?

How long are we allowed to sing nah-nah-nah-na-nah-nah to Republicans?

We need to come together as one nation, but honestly, this feels GOOD!

VICTORY!

In your face, GOP!

What now?

I am overwhelmed. Growing up black in the deep South, I never thought I'd see the day when one of us would be President.

But this is an eye-opener. Even more so than when my Dad explained to me the difference between Shinola and Sara Palin.

YES WE DID!

VICTORY!!!

WE DID IT!

YES WE CAN

YES WE CAN

YES WE CAN

YES WE DID!

OBAMA WINS OHIO!!!

OBAMA WINS OHIO!

NO REPUBLICAN HAS EVER WON THE PRESIDENCY WITHOUT WINNING OHIO!!!

It's not over yet, but it's looking VERY VERY good!!!

Woo-hoo!

FUCK GEORGIA

Dammit, Bob Barr! Where were you?

Atlanta! What happened?

CHANGE FOR THE WORLD!

Great comment...

I wanted to share this: My friend from Brazil was telling us today "You have no idea how important this election is to the whole world. My country is clinging to this." She spoke with her family this morning and they were urging her to vote and chanting "O-BA-MA!" Just a reminder how this affects not only us as Americans but the world alike. This is going to change so much!

Amy Miller

Thanks Amy! Keep watching and commenting!

GO OBAMA!

EXIT POLLING RESULTS - BEACH PARK, IL

THIS JUST IN!

3 votes for Obama and the guy with no commentary filters

100% of males voted for Obama
100% of spoiled dogs were home alone when owners were voting for Obama
100% of gay men in household vote for Anderson Cooper! He's hot!
Bacon gives a big poop to that bitch with the square glasses!

don't have your DVR in pause!

We just realized we weren't live on CNN! Aaaaaa!

All better now.

David and Richard have arrived, so we have a Democratic majority in the house now. We'll have Percival-Hall exit polling results shortly.

don'

McCain is underperforming Bush

Hope this continues...

Princess Leia on CNN

Did anyone see the hologram reporter on CNN earlier? Sooooo dumb. How much money does CNN have? Craziness.

SCOREBOARD

OBAMA - 77

MCCAIN - 34

HOLY CRAP!

LOTS of states for Obama!!!

According to CNN...
Illinois, New Jersey, Maine, Connecticut, Maryland, DC, Massachusetts!

Screw Oklahoma and Tennessee. Boo red!

EXIT POLLING INFO FROM KEY AREA - ST. LOUIS

PROBST FAMILY OFFICIAL POLLING RESULTS - MO
3 votes for Obama/Biden

1 vote for fruit snacks

1 vote for the binky
1 aloof abstention (Wrigley, of course)

100% of females voted Obama/Biden
25% of males voted Obama/Biden
75% of males voted other/abstained

Kyah Probst participated in her first ever Kids Voting at Rogers Elementary - results to be announced tomorrow. She proudly wore her Obama/Biden '08 t-shirt along with a large Obama/Biden '08 pin and confidently voted Obama/Biden because he will "help me pay for college," says Probst.

Noah is visibly upset as he "wanted to meet Obama's grandma". The Probst's also canvassed Pointe South neighborhood today, proudly donning their Obama/Biden '08 t-shirts in an effort to sway the South County conservative vote. Noah practiced his "You voted for McCain??" look as seen in the Obama/Biden '08 Probst family picture.

EXIT POLLS

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/

Check it out! Lots of positive exit polling so far. Returns coming in, drinks being poured in preparation of red states turning blue!

Keepo your eye on Indiana and Virginia!

FINGERS ARE CROSSED!

BREAKING NEWS!

OBAMA TAKES DELAWARE!

Oh wait, we knew that would happen.

And - fuck Kentucky.

SHOCKING DEVELOPMENTS!

Lil' Adler Probst was cited for electioneering this morning in St. Louis, MO. He pleaded with voting officals that his mommy dressed him, and it wasn't his fault. In fact, Adler is a fan of Sara Palin (for the boobs) ((relax, people, he's an infant, so boobs = milk! Geesh, ya sickos.))

In a related story, males in MO and IL agree that Palin is hot, but a moron. Easy on the eyes, not so much on the country.

BREAKING NEWS!

LAZY ACTION REPORT!

St. Louis, MO -

Rumors of voter intimidation have been circulating from the Probst Family Compound on Hilly Haven, and we have the inside scoop from our intrepid reporter Wrigley, who filed the following report moments ago...

"WOOF! BARK! PANT, PANT"

Ok, that was seriously stupid. We would never work with Wrigley Probst again, not after plagarism allegations against him arose from his piece this summer on the best places in St. Louis to poop.

We'll have more from St. Louis soon as this story develops...

Stay tuned to www.LazyRevolution.com all day and night for wacky commentary, nutty exit polls, crazy interviews, and overall zaniness as we witness history!

Peace!

ELECTION DAY!

EARLIEST EXIT POLL RESULTS

Waukegan, IL -

The earliest exit poll today comes from 3321 Burr Oak Drive.

2 votes for Obama-Biden
1 abstained vote
1 vote for BONES!

The breakdown was 100% of women went for Obama, and only 25% of males were for Obama. Apparent third-party "BONES!" was a surprise, garnering an astonishing 25% of male voters. Reached for comment about his vote, Franklin drooled a bit, ran around in a circle, and farted.

Abstaining from voting was Monty, who is a little shit.

Stay tuned for more updates, including the ever-crucial PROBST FAMILY exit poll from St. Louis in swing state Missouri. There are reports of voter fraud, as Noah tried to take Kyah's turn. More details later...