Crazy Old White People - for President!

So it looks like we have a really old guy, an old woman, and Barack Obama in contention for President of the United States. We know Oldy Olderson's had plenty of "senior moments" along the campaign trail, like when he pooped in his pants on the Straight Talk Express. But now it seems as if Hillary Clinton is showing her age, too. Methinks an age limit needs to be applied to running this country. Or at least an IQ test for crying out loud. That would've saved us from the historic Presidency of the first retarded President, Georgie Bush Junior. But anyway, on to the golden oldies.

Hillary remembers...

"I remember traveling to Istanbul with the Emperor of the Universe and Gilbert Gottfried. We parachuted in, and immediately took hovercrafts to the rendezvous point, the Prime Minister's wife's kitchen, where I was to help her pick out a new backsplash, er, I mean, plan a long term strategy for peace in the Middle East. A polar bear nearly took Chelsea's left leg off as she was teaching young Sudanese children how to breakdance. They were visiting as part of an international coalition I started called Cankles that Care. This organization of water-retaining women in government, co-chaired by Nancy Pelosi and Camilla Parker-Bowles brings attention to starving cats in Indonesia through radio jingles written by volunteer mental health patients suffering from Ronnie's Dementia. Of course this condition, famously suffered by former President (and former human being) Ronald Reagan, effects not only the continence of an individual, but the olfactory sense as well. So when these unfortunates crap themselves, they sadly have no idea how bad they smell. They can only tell, in fact, from the squishing. Oh, and I killed a dragon once, too. Obama sucks! It's my turn! It's MY turn!"

John McCain remembers...

John? Mr. McCain? Senator? Hello?!?

Apparently the Senator fell asleep while unwrapping some hard candy. He must be tired from yelling at those rotten kids to get off his lawn!

Peace.

T-to-the-B