Priorities, everyone, priorities!

So there's an email going around (I got it from my mother-in-law today) that is from country singer Charlie Daniels. Here's a link to it: redneck.

Don't we have more important things to worry about? This bumpkin really is afraid of Mexicans? Like they're a threat to our country? Last time I checked, there weren't any dudes named Jose or Paco slitting the throats of airline pilots and flight attendants with box cutters, then aiming the planes into buildings. No, they had names like Muhammad. In Mr. Daniels' email he says we "turn a blind eye" to illegal immigration because the country of origin is Mexico. What? Is this guy serious? How about Saudi Arabia, jackass? You wonder if 'ol CD has any oil money like the Bushes. Those are the people to really worry about. Saudi Arabia is the country where the majority of the hijackers were from. And, remember that one guy? Osama Bin Laden??? Yeah, he's from there, too. But let's not concentrate on finding him, no, let's get upset about poor people that don't speak English very well and screw up our drive-through order.

I swear, these right wing paranoid freaks need to come out of the closet, put down the Oxy-Cotin, and then accept reality as a place to live, or just grab their damn bibles and jump off a tall building. Seriously, you've fucked up this country! Your conservative ideology is WRONG! Stop jerking off to your signed picture of Karl Rove and grow up. A Mexican is not a threat to you or your way of life, unless your chosen profession is picking lettuce, cleaning offices late at night, or standing in front of Home Depot.

Let's please ignore crap like this and stay focused. The neo-cons and evangelicals are going to try as hard as they can to divert our attention from the real issues, just like they do every election year. We, the intelligent, independent voters of America need to rise above the xenophobia and race-baiting and tell these a-hole Republican operatives that spread this veiled hate speech to just mind their own business. I am so damn sick and tired of dealing with DUMB PEOPLE. And Charlie Daniels? Why on earth would anyone with all of their original teeth listen to anything this fool has to say? It's like analyzing something Britney Spears says, you're just going to get a headache.

Let's please pass a law that says you have to pass at least a basic current events and/or civics test in order to vote. If you don't know who the current Secretary of State is, you're not allowed to vote. If you can't name the office that is 3rd in line for the Presidency, you are not allowed to vote. And if you think Mexicans working for less than minimum wage illegally is a more important issue than climate change, Iraq, and the current administration's complete and total abuse of power at the expense of our Constitution, then you are a retard, and you are not allowed to vote. Yes, I'm talking to you, Lou Dobbs.

Jesus, people, settle down and have a fucking taco.

Peace.

T-to-the-B

What would your screen name be? Or, code name?

http://todolistblog.blogspot.com/2007/11/possible-screen-names.html

What an interesting site - looking at people's To-Do Lists. Not really. But the one above is funny.

Write me at LazyRevolution@gmail.com with your favorite kick-ass screen names. I'll of course publish everything, and give props to the funniest ideas. In the example above, I dug "The Dunkster," "Whopper Head," and of course, "Loaf Man!"

Loaf Man could be the superhero mascot of Lazy Revolution!

Now if I only knew some artists that could draw cool pictures of Loaf Man, sitting there on a couch, with his cape sadly drooping to the floor, which is littered with fast food wrappers, empty cigarette boxes, and old KFC buckets...

Peace.

T-to-the-B

Festivus, a time to air your grievances

(feel free to print & cut out The Human Fund certificate, just don't freaking send it to me as a gift, you cheap bastid)


Friends,

For the past few years, Kristin and I have happily celebrated Frank Costanza's twisted holiday Festivus, but not this year.

We say farewell to the aluminum pole, with its high strength-to-weight ratio. No decorations ever adorned it, as tinsel is of course, distracting.

Nevermore shall we imbibe many cocktails, then wrestle until the host is pinned. (Kristin won every year, very late at night.)

But in the spirit of Festivus, let us all air our grievances for 2007 here, on Lazy Revolution. Send an email to LazyRevolution@gmail.com, or to twb4@yahoo.com, or simply post a comment with your '07 grievances. I will publish them all for the world to see. And if you believe the world is looking at my sad little blog, call me tonight, I have some properties you'll want to invest in.



My Grievances for 2007!


1) You people that came to last year's party and abstained from airing your grievances. Yes, you are the main reason this celebration of sarcasm and bitterness has been cancelled this year. "Oh, I don't want to talk in front of everyone." Come on! It's not like it was open mic night, although Tom Barton thought it was. Festivus was a goof, and to not participate made it lame. Yes, your lameness was contagious. Conversely, huzzah to all who did participate, especially those who did every year! I hope to read yours from this year soon.


2)Democrats. Yes, Democrats. These so-called Liberals are nothing more than Republicans without sexual identity confusion. I mean, really, what was last year's election all about? Giving George Bush the finger? Hell, I do that every time I see that chimp smirk while talking about war. It's almost over, sure, but didn't the Republicans impeach Clinton at about this point in his Presidency? And for a blow job, not an illegal war, wiretapping, torture, revealing the identity of an undercover CIA agent (that shit is treason, punishable by death), and who knows what else? This is easily the worst President / Vice-President ever, and yet the opposition party sits back and does NOTHING. Why would anyone be afraid of a Republican? Because they're rich? That just means they have more to lose. I'm more afraid of someone with no money. When you hit rock bottom, you have nowhere to go but up. Unless you just kind of slide one way for a bit, then back to where you were. When I was strung out on Redi-Whip cans, all I cared about was what was for dessert. I had nothing to lose. Now that I'm a multi-thousandaire, I have stuff. And I don't want to lose said stuff. Which makes me so nervous I want some Whip hits.
But anyway, whoever the Democrat nominee is next year, they better be ready to be tough. And dear god, don't nominate Hillary! She can't win. Men in the US of A are just not ready to vote for a woman. Shit, I catch hell for letting my wife drive the car when I'm in it. Do you think a country where men feel like they have to operate the big scary driving machine is going to seriously let a skirt run the whole country? It's absurd, but it's reality, people.


3) So-called "Reality TV" hit new lows in 2007. Rock of Love, Tila Tequila's bisexual dating adventure, and "Make Out with Dog Crap for TV Exposure" were all huge hits for VH-1, which has now officially been subtitled, Why the Terrorists Hate Us.

Anyway, 2008 looks to be a hell of a year. My favorite sport comes back in full swing: Presidential politics! Yes, I know these jackals have been circling Iowa and New Hampshire all year, but everything gets more interesting once we get to voting, and certainly once we're down to two candidates.

My prediction: Hillary, with Wesley Clark for Veep against Mitt Romney with Mike Huckabee. President Mitt?

My hope: An Independent run by Bloomberg / Hagel, with Obama / Edwards and Guiliani/Thompson.

So send in your grievances, Lazy Revsters! This is your chance. Do it, do it now!

Make Frank Costanza proud.


Peace.


T-to-the-B