Would Jesus be Down with the Rap Music?

I saw the following on HuffingtonPost.com the other day.

http://christiansagainsthiphop.cf.huffingtonpost.com/

Make sure you click on "Girls We Saved" to check out some fool named Tyrone Jenkins. I'm sorry, but Carlton from The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air has more soul than this step-and-fetch-it retard. The site says Tyrone "taught us what to watch out for!" How lame can a black man possibly get? I'm sure the neo-cons are going to want to nominate Tyrone to the Supreme Court in 10 years. He and Clarence will party down to some Air Supply while voting down civil rights.

Anyway, it made me think about rap and it's pervasive influence not only on young girls ("I wanna be a ho") , but society in general. I mean, look at Andy Milonakis, for Christ's (the homey above) sake! This man-child raps about mindless drivel (which you have to respect) and he gets his own cable show.

Which brings me to Jesus. What would the good Rabbi think of rap? I used to think he'd dig it. I mean he liked to drink, what with turning the water into wine and what not. He had a crew. The original entourage - 12 dudes ready to throw down in the name of the lord. But I'm not so sure anymore. See, last weekend I saw "The DaVinci Code." If you haven't seen it yet or read Dan Brown's novel then skip the next paragraph.

OK, they're gone. Isn't it nice, just us? All of those DaVinci Code-illiterate dolts have skipped ahead, leaving just us, those that either succumbed to the powers of the literary or Hollywood marketing machine or had friends that did and dragged us along with them (j/k, D & R, it was fun!). Seriously, the movie was pretty decent. But I still don't understand why Tom Hanks needed the mini-mullet sans-sideburns haircut. For me, it was better than the 5 pages of the novel I've read. Anyway, the DVC raises the interesting idea that Jesus was not only married, but that he had a child, with Mary Magdelene no less. So Jesus was a Dad. Hmmm. With that nugget, it really changes my perception. Not of religion or of the notion of Christianity, but of whethere or not the Son of God would like rap music. With the exception of Master P, every father on the face of the earth HATES rap music. I remember my own Dad shaking his head in disbelief upon hearing Paul's Boutique by The Beastie Boys blasting out of my little silver and chrome boombox. Just as fathers everywhere have an innate dislike of all males around the same age of their daughter, and how they all think they know how to grill a steak better than you do, all fathers think rap is crap. So, if Jesus did in fact have a girl (anagram for grail), I'm thinking he wouldn't want little Tiffany Christ to be backin' up her badonkadonk against the wall while Lil' Jon goes "Skeet, skeet, skeet!" Well, nobody wants that.

So would the savior of millions of people across the world be "down" with the hip and the hop? Maybe, but you gotta believe it would be lame like DC Talk, the Gospel Gangstaz or Ja Rule.

Peace an' chicken grease,

TB

EVIL - LIVE

No, not a Miles Davis album, just something interesting I saw online today. Mad props to the guy who figured this out. It's chilling. And, well, nonsense, but it made me chuckle.

F: 6th letter of the alphabet
O: 15th letter, 1+5=6
X: 24th letter, 2+4=6FOX = 666

Fox News: Fair and Balanced Network of the Beast

Haha!

Remember, vote for Dems this Fall so we can impeach Dubya ASAP! (and Cheney at the same time - we'll make history!)

President Bush’s approval at record low of 33 percent this week!

Impeach? Hell, I'm thinking recall. I wonder if the people they hoodwinked into voting for them have realized that Dubya really is a moron, and that as dorky and dull as John Kerry was, that at the very least he would have surrounded himself with competent people and would not embarrass the entire country.

I'll say it again, vote for every single damn Democrat this Fall. It may be the only chance we have to avoid war with Iran. What is BushCo.'s deal with countries beginning with I-R-A? Knowing how dumb Georgie is, the following countries better be on watch: Ireland, Italy, and Uruguay. The first 2 because they almost start with I-R-A, and the last because it has "gay" in it. Kinda. CLose enough for the WMD, "greeted as liberators" crowd, that's for sure.

TB

Easter, a Magical Day

Ah, Easter. That day in late March, early-to mid April that is the ultimate Christian holiday. Xmas is fine, but it's really more for the presents, the tree, and various nogs. No, Easter is the Super Bowl for ministers. You know they get psyched for Easter Sunday. I wonder if they jump and down or hit themselves on the sides of their head like boxers do before a fight. Probably not.
But this is the day when most Americans who even casually call themselves Christians get up, have a chocolate egg or bunny, put on a suit, and actually go to church. As a kid, I remember Easter being the one Sunday that my Dad would take my sister and I. My Mom usually sang in the choir, and Easter was the one day the old man would make it out to hear "the word." I always envied the fact that my Dad didn't have to go every Sunday. I hated going to church. Not for any of the reasons I don't go now, but because it was so boring (ok, so that's still a reason). And I never understood the whole dressing up for God deal. Personally, my God doesn't really care what I'm wearing, or even if I go to a specific building once a week. He's just happy when I say hello and thank him for the good things in my life: my beautiful wife, great friends (and all of their new additions - shout out to my main man Brooks and the soon-to-be Barclay Junior!), our relatives (and their health and happiness), and of course, President Bush. I pray the hardest for him everyday. He is going through so much these days that I feel we as a Christian nation must rally around him to support him as he prepares to nuke those Iranian bastards to Hell.

No, seriously, Hoppy Easter, and hopefully Christ's message of peace and goodwill can somehow reach into the heart and empty head of our President so our brave men & women can come home safely.

Oh, and whoever came up with the chocoloate egg thing: genius. I've had so many Cadberry cream eggs I feel like a crackhead. Still wonder when someone will make a chocolate crucifix...

Peace, and IMPEACH!

TB


ps Dan Savage, creator of the column Savage Love runs a great website, visit it here. Order a bumper sticker today if you're as sick of Dubya as the rest of us!

So did you hear about the Utah school that thought they were booking Jon Stewart the comedian, but instead they had signed up Jon A. Stewart, a former motivational speaker, businessman and part-time professional wrestler from Chicago? Oops!

What kills me is that they wanted The Daily Show host in the first place. Utah? Wouldn't they prefer say, John McCain, as he panders to the Religious Right? Wait, are Mormons considered the Religious Right? Shit, weren't they recently a cult? You know what that means, those nutty Scientologists could be considered a "legitimate" religion soon.

But Jon Stewart in Utah? I'm thinking people in Utah have no time for politcal comedy, what with all the wives...

A quick joke, the rebuttal

So the husband says, "I had a dream like that, too. I dreamed I was in this huge place, and they were auctioning vaginas."
"Really," said the wife.
"Yeah, they had old vaginas on auction starting at $2.00, and young ones started at $100."
"So how much did one like mine go for," asked the wife, expecting her husband to say "free."
"Yours? That's where they held the auction."

A quick joke I heard recently.

A husband and wife are sleeping. They wake up, and the wife says, "I just had the strangest dream."
The husband asks her, "what happened?"
"I dreamed that I was at an auction for penises. The small ones were going for $2.50, and the large ones were $50."
"So," asked the husband, "how much was one like mine worth?"
"Oh, they were giving those away!"

"The West Wing" on BET...

If the Democrats run Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama on the same ticket, then they are the dumbest group of morons to ever get together, and this liberal will give up all hope and resign himself to the ever-increasing truth that it really doesn't matter: the election has already been decided. The winner has been chosen for us. And I don't mean that electoral college bullshit, either. I mean the corporate leaders and the evil businessmen have all decided over martinis and enemas which party will win, and who will be the winner. But I'm not in a conspiracy-kind of mood today. We'll save that kind of talk for another time. (Charlie Sheen is not a crackpot - he makes sense, people!) OK, enough, sorry.

I'd kind of like to see the Repugs run Condi Rice. They'll be thinking the whole time that she'll be their bitch even more than Dubya was, and as soon as she's sworn in, the Madame President quickly reminds everyone that her name is NOT Condi, but Condoleezza, mmm-hmm, and y'all betta recognize. How beautifully ironic and wonderful would it be to have the white businessman elite pricks back a black woman for President, only to realize that instead of a Stepford wife, they know have a SISTER on their hands! Payback would be serious! Imagine the good things an intelligent black woman could do for this country.

Of course, I'm giving Ms. Rice the benefit of her skin color, which is about as "black" as she's going to get. I seriously doubt anyone would vote for her because of the color of her skin. Spike Lee voiced his concerns about the Sec. of State earlier this year. Not that Spike speaks for all of Black America, but c'mon. My man made "Do the Right Thing!" His street cred is considerably higher than Rice's. Hell, so is mine for that matter.

I guess I just like the idea of our President telling Kim Jong Ill, "Oh no you di'int!"