Hola Amigos and Amigas!

Sorry it's been a week (and a day) since I've written, but after all, it is the Lazy Revolution after all. So don't get all uppity with me like Letterman did with O'Reilly.

OK, let's get into that TV moment. Bill "spank me with a loofa" O'Reilly visits The Late Show with Dave "I'll always be funnier than Leno, but I'm losing ground to Conan lately" Letterman, and the two engage in a semi-interesting debate about how political correctness and the supposed "attack on Christmas" that right-wingers say happened this past Yuletide.

Personally, I could give a shit. Christmas these days is all about buying gifts and enduring your relatives for a day or two. Other than racking up the credit card debt a bit more, it was basically a very pleasant holiday for me in 2005. I, like Mr. Letterman, don't recall anyone giving me crap for saying "Merry Christmas" or anything like that. Did any of you hear that kind of thing? Me? I say "Happy Kwanzaa" to everyone. It's a bullshit holiday, and it makes me giggle, like Festivus.

Although Festivus is much more fun. We did not observe it in 2005, but it will be back with a vengeance in '06, baby! All of you that were disappointed by the lack of a Festivus party at our place last year, just remember to keep track of all of the people who let you down during 2006. Kristin & I will definitely be giving you an opportunity to air those greviances of yours come December 2006.

OK, back to The Late Show. O'Reilly is really full of himself as usual, and he's thinking he's as funny or funnier than Dave. I've seen Bill talk tough with Jon Stewart, who comes back and kicks BIll's ass everytime, but O'Reilly seems immune to criticism. So when he started in with Dave, he knew who he was up against, but he didn't care. Does anyone recall when Dave told Rush Limbaugh that he's a "hot ball of gas?" It was many moons ago. Classic. Nothing quite that memorable from Letterman this time around, but he did tell Bill that he thought "about 60% of what you say is crap." (something like that, I'm too lazy to actually look up the real quotation, plus, I'm supposed to be working hard right now at marketing wine over the 'Internets') A good slam, but not like how he destroyed Limbaugh. To his credit, O'Reilly hung in there pretty well. But it doesn't matter what happened, because the right wingers will spin (in his No Spin Zone, nonetheless) it like O'Reilly was the one making Letterman look foolish. See? The truth does not matter to these people.

Republican right wingers don't care about facts. They do care about truth, but not in the capital-T sense of truth. They present the facts that support their version of the truth, and it's been working for them since 1998. I say since then because these same pricks managed to impeach President Clinton because he lied about a blowjob. When their guy 5 years later ends up lying about weapons of mass destruction, they don't say anything. When Clinton lied, he ruined one blue dress from the Gap. When Bush lied, he ruined over 2,000 American lives. But talk to any right wing a-hole, and he'll tell you we're fighting for freedom. Who's freedom?

Anyway, even though "President" Bush is frighteningly stupid, some Republicans, who might otherwise be considered smart people, rally around this retard just because he’s their guy. Again, when Clinton lied about the bj, I didn’t defend him. I thought that was wrong of him to lie. But Bush lies all the time, and no one seems to call him on it. These Republicans are a scary lot, and the only way to beat them into submission is for Democrats or hopefully a new party (that’d be nice not to have to always have just 2 choices) to run someone who is inspiring, intelligent, and will defend themselves against the neo-con crap. But you know they’re gonna screw it all up and run Hillary. She’ll lose big time. Huge. I think we’re gonna have President Bush again: JEB BUSH. Yikes! He’ll last until 2012, when Barack Obama will come through as the first Black President. And he will go down as the greatest President we’ve ever had. And Dubya’s the worst, for sure.

Peace,

TB


ps Please feel free to post your comments or email me at twb4@yahoo.com. If I can collect enough responses, I'll post them all together with my comments to follow. But please, no recipes featuring lima beans or Brussell Sprouts. I so hate those vegetables. Why would anyone choose to eat either one of those is beyond me. They're both gross.

Bienvenidos, Revolucionarios!

This blog will be dedicated to those of you like me that rage against the machine but don't have the time, energy, or committed concern to do much more than read, write, laugh, yell, and basically be a smart-ass about anything and everything that sucks. I dare not limit myself to just railing against those crafty, wily Republicans, because a lot of Democrats are dickheads, too (but nowhere near as crass or as blatantly unethical, c'mon). And I don't want this to always be political in nature. I mean, I love politics, but without the in-depth analysis of and random references to pop culture, from The Simpsons to Family Guy to movies, music, sports (look for a lamentation on the Chicago Bears coming very soon), comedy, and of course, farts (there is always room for fart jokes), I wouldn't be encompassing everything that makes one a true lazy revolutionary.

This is for those of us that are too smart for our jobs, but we're just not motivated enough to get a better one right now. It's for those of us that are creative, but we'd rather finish another mission of "Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas" before starting that great American novel, finishing that coming-of-age screenplay or directing that first porno (got the camera, just need some chicks!).
We have an innate sense of good; we cry out for justice, but enjoy the schadenfrude of watching corrupt f'ers go to jail, lose everything, and be hunted for sport. We know what sucks and can tell you why. We listen to jazz. We know why "American Idol" is the biggest waste of time in the history of television, but we watch it anyway. We are the Lazy Revolution!

Welcome, and enjoy, at the very least, some semi-entertaining stuff to read while you're not working!

TB