My Dog Can Drive a Car, Can Yours?

Check out Franklin driving! He has his learner's permit. In this pic he's actually taking his drunk owner home after an extended game of passout Stratego that started with light beers and ended with shots of Jim Beam and motor oil. Personally, I think Kristin might be developing a bit of a problem. Not with alcohol, but with Stratego. It's all she can think about. She's even taken to playing in bed, which means every now and then I "find a miner" and she makes that obnoxious exploding sound. But then again, I do enjoy it when she "finds my flag."

Now for something completely different...

What about these ridiculous, "Love it or Leave it" emails that are floating around the Web? They've been around for years I think, in various forms. Usually they're presented as humor, but they always come across as mean spirited and brazen. They're attributed to George Carlin, Bill Maher, or in this case, Robin Williams, which is ridiculous if you know the politics of these men. Carlin and Maher's philosophies are Libertarian to an extent, not Conservative, Reactionary, Isolationist or Imperial, which is the conflicted position these emails take. That last comic being credited for this highly political position always kills me, because whatever you think about Robin Williams being funny now (he's not), he's certainly not relevant. His political humor is obvious and tired. It's low-brow (which can be great if done well) and lazy. He's just LAME these days. I guess making movies like "RV" will do that to you. But hey, those exercises in comic futility seem to make a lot of money, and he's rolling in it. Can't say I wouldn't do that, too for a gazillion bucks.

Anyway, these stupid email forwards get sent around by people that think they're funny but never seem to catch the underlying neo-conservative agenda pushed in the ignorant, brutishly craptacular ideas about immigration, terrorism, and America's role as world policeman.

Check out the most recent one I got.

You gotta love Robin Williams....
Even if he's nuts! Leave it to Robin Williams to come up with the perfect plan. What we need now is for our UN Ambassador to stand up and repeat this message.

Robin Williams' plan...(Hard to argue with his logic!)

"I see a lot of people yelling for peace but I have not heard of a plan for peace. So, here's one plan."

1) The US will apologize to the world for our "interference" in their affairs, past and present. You know, Hitler, Mussolini, Stalin, Tojo, Noriega, Milosevic, Hussein, and the rest of those "good ole boys". We will never "interfere" again.

2) We will withdraw our troops from all over the world, starting with Germany, South Korea, the Middle East, and the Philippines. They don't want us there. We would station troops at our borders. No one allowed sneaking through holes in the fence.

3) All illegal aliens have 90 days to get their affairs together and leave. We'll give them a free trip home. After 90 days the remainder will be gathered up and deported immediately, regardless of whom or where they are. They're illegal!!! France will welcome them.

4) All future visitors will be thoroughly checked and limited to 90 days unless given a special permit!!!! No one from a terrorist nation will be allowed in. If you don't like it there, change it yourself and don't hide here. Asylum would never be available
to anyone. We don't need any more cab drivers or 7-11 cashiers.

5) No foreign "students" over age 21. The older ones are the bombers. If they don't attend classes, they get a "D" and it's back home, baby.

6) The US will make a strong effort to become self-sufficient energy wise. This will include developing nonpolluting sources of energy but will require a temporary drilling of oil in the Alaskan wilderness. The caribou will have to cope for a while.

7) Offer Saudi Arabia and other oil producing countries $10 a barrel for their oil. If they don't like it, we go someplace else. They can go somewhere else to sell their production. (About a week of the wells filling up the storage sites would be enough.)

8) If there is a famine or other natural catastrophe in the world, we will not "interfere." They can pray to Allah or whomever, for seeds, rain, cement or whatever they need. Besides most of what we give them is stolen or given to the army. The people who need it most get very little, if anything.

9) Ship the UN Headquarters to an isolated island someplace. We don't need the spies and fair weather friends here. Besides, the building would make a good homeless shelter or lockup for illegal aliens.

10) All Americans must go to charm and beauty school. That way, no one can call us, "Ugly Americans" any longer. The Language we speak is ENGLISH...learn it...or LEAVE...Now, isn't that a winner of a plan?

"The Statue of Liberty is no longer saying "Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses." She's got a baseball bat and she's yelling, 'you want a piece of me?' "

Well, here's my retort to anyone who send this political pablum about the Internets. (please feel free to copy and use yourself - the only way to fight fire is with water)

That email forgot a few points:

11) When we invade Iran, North Korea, and anywhere else Rumsfeld and Cheney have a hard-on for, we will be greeted as liberators.

12) Iraq does have those WMDs, they're just really good at hiding stuff.

13) The Constitution will be burned to allow George Bush to remain President for Life and so he can interpret laws as he sees fit, without the hassle of writing all of those signing statements.

14) That pesky Bill of Rights certainly needs to be burned. Who needs it? The only people that need to worry are the ones breaking the law, anyway. This keeps America safe. Well, we better keep the 2nd amendment, because the gun lobby are our friends, and true, patriotic American heroes.

15) Foley was a Democrat.


"And if all others accepted the lie which the Party imposed—if all records told the same tale—then the lie passed into history and became truth. 'Who controls the past' ran the Party slogan, 'controls the future: who controls the present controls the past.'" - George Orwell, 1984

So send that along to the Fox News-obsessed Uncle, the arch-conservative Grandpa, or the brain-dead moron coworker who still listens to fucking Rush Limbaugh.

Peace, and IMPEACH

T-to-the-B

ps remember to VOTE for Democrats next month. Even if the Dem is a tool, we need a majority to keep the Bushies' wacky agenda in check, which could get frightenly "V for Vendetta" scary over the next two years. Without opposition, these fuckwads have seriously hurt the country, and have literally killed thousands of people by sending them to meaningless deaths in Iraq. Don't let America nuke Iran and start WWIII because you think the Democrat "looks liberal" to you. Time to man up!