Would Jesus be Down with the Rap Music?

I saw the following on HuffingtonPost.com the other day.

http://christiansagainsthiphop.cf.huffingtonpost.com/

Make sure you click on "Girls We Saved" to check out some fool named Tyrone Jenkins. I'm sorry, but Carlton from The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air has more soul than this step-and-fetch-it retard. The site says Tyrone "taught us what to watch out for!" How lame can a black man possibly get? I'm sure the neo-cons are going to want to nominate Tyrone to the Supreme Court in 10 years. He and Clarence will party down to some Air Supply while voting down civil rights.

Anyway, it made me think about rap and it's pervasive influence not only on young girls ("I wanna be a ho") , but society in general. I mean, look at Andy Milonakis, for Christ's (the homey above) sake! This man-child raps about mindless drivel (which you have to respect) and he gets his own cable show.

Which brings me to Jesus. What would the good Rabbi think of rap? I used to think he'd dig it. I mean he liked to drink, what with turning the water into wine and what not. He had a crew. The original entourage - 12 dudes ready to throw down in the name of the lord. But I'm not so sure anymore. See, last weekend I saw "The DaVinci Code." If you haven't seen it yet or read Dan Brown's novel then skip the next paragraph.

OK, they're gone. Isn't it nice, just us? All of those DaVinci Code-illiterate dolts have skipped ahead, leaving just us, those that either succumbed to the powers of the literary or Hollywood marketing machine or had friends that did and dragged us along with them (j/k, D & R, it was fun!). Seriously, the movie was pretty decent. But I still don't understand why Tom Hanks needed the mini-mullet sans-sideburns haircut. For me, it was better than the 5 pages of the novel I've read. Anyway, the DVC raises the interesting idea that Jesus was not only married, but that he had a child, with Mary Magdelene no less. So Jesus was a Dad. Hmmm. With that nugget, it really changes my perception. Not of religion or of the notion of Christianity, but of whethere or not the Son of God would like rap music. With the exception of Master P, every father on the face of the earth HATES rap music. I remember my own Dad shaking his head in disbelief upon hearing Paul's Boutique by The Beastie Boys blasting out of my little silver and chrome boombox. Just as fathers everywhere have an innate dislike of all males around the same age of their daughter, and how they all think they know how to grill a steak better than you do, all fathers think rap is crap. So, if Jesus did in fact have a girl (anagram for grail), I'm thinking he wouldn't want little Tiffany Christ to be backin' up her badonkadonk against the wall while Lil' Jon goes "Skeet, skeet, skeet!" Well, nobody wants that.

So would the savior of millions of people across the world be "down" with the hip and the hop? Maybe, but you gotta believe it would be lame like DC Talk, the Gospel Gangstaz or Ja Rule.

Peace an' chicken grease,

TB