A quick joke I heard recently.

A husband and wife are sleeping. They wake up, and the wife says, "I just had the strangest dream."
The husband asks her, "what happened?"
"I dreamed that I was at an auction for penises. The small ones were going for $2.50, and the large ones were $50."
"So," asked the husband, "how much was one like mine worth?"
"Oh, they were giving those away!"